The Brink of a Breakthrough

Have you ever felt as though you were on the brink of a breakthrough, but you weren't sure exactly what that breakthrough was...or how close to the brink of it that you were? Over the recent months, that's the way I have felt regarding the work of I Shall Not Die (the book) and The I.S.L.A.N.D. Movement (the ministry). A series of things have happened since my last blog entry, and not all of those things have been good. Well...let me rephrase that. All of them didn't fit my definition of good. Despite that, I know that all of them have worked together for the good of the ministry itself (Romans 8:28). There have been some challenges that were (and in some cases, still are) a weight for me. However, if I have learned anything in my 44 years of living, my 32 years of living for Christ, and my 23 years of working in ministry; it is that the strength that we gain along this Christian journey is often a direct result of the weights we come in contact with in the process. But thanks be to God who is our refuge and strength; a very present help in our time of trouble (Psalm 46:1). Because of Him, we never have to bear our burdens alone. God is good!

With that said, I am blessed to report that with the help of the Lord, the message of "I Shall Not Die" is still going strong despite every trick that that the enemy has tried to create. A steady stream of books have been sold in hardcopy and in electronic (e-book) format. One hundred percent of the reviews left on Amazon.com have been favorable, and most importantly, hearts and souls continue to be blessed and empowered. I could not ask for more, yet, because the ministry is on the brink of a breakthrough, I know that more is on the way. God is not finished, and I am bracing myself everyday (through prayer) for what lies ahead. No doubt, it's going to blow a few minds...perhaps even my own. :-)

But as I "sit in the waiting room," I am continuing to work toward those things that I know to be in order for I Shall Not Die. And one of those things is the 2nd Bi-Annual I.S.L.A.N.D. Conference. The first empowerment conference launched in October of 2010 at the same time of the book's official unveiling. It was a one-night worship and arts conference that was an awesome move of God. I am still in the early planning stages of next year's conference, but the tentative dates are October 11-13, 2012, and it will be held in metropolitan Atlanta, GA. The location and other specifics will be uploaded to the Conference link of the website as they become available. I hope you will make plans to attend. The conference will include musical performances by Stellar Award winning artists, a prayer breakfast with a nationally known keynote speaker, praise dancing and mime ministry by award-winning artists, a women's empowerment session, sponsored by Gospel Girls Study Group, a vending opportunity (books, CD's, T-shirts, etc.) sponsored by M-PACT Writers, and much, much more. Of course, it will all be capped off with a powerful worship service wherein another renown speaker will feed us with a good Word from the Lord. The early registration discount will be too good to pass up. Even deeper discounts will be available exclusively to VIP's (VIsion Partners) of The I.S.L.A.N.D. Movement. As soon as we have more solid information regarding the venue, registration lines will be open.

Look for more details in the coming months. The ministry and message of I Shall Not Die is on the brink of a breakthrough. To God be the glory!

A New Season...A New Day

To go into all the intricate details of the exciting direction in which God is taking my writing ministry would be a premature move on my part. Not only that, but it would make this long overdue blog entry far too lengthy. But suffice it to say, my first nonfiction, I Shall Not Die is playing a great role in my movement toward this new phase of my life and career. So much has transpired since the release of this book last October...so much has happened since my last posting to this blog. God has been good, and He has kept the promises He made long before I began penning I Shall Not Die. He assured me that if I followed His direction, obeyed His voice, and wrote the book that was birthed from my own life's greatest trial, He would see to it that I Shall Not Die would bless many. And indeed it has...including me.
Emails, letters, and phone calls have come in a steady stream. Readers have found lost faith, renewed strength, and new reasons to live by way of I Shall Not Die. The sales of both the hardcopy and E-book versions have exceeded my expectations. The posted reviews on Amazon.com have been overwhelming, and the Facebook posts and private notes have been more than humbling. As I've digested the magnitude of it all, there have been many days that I've found myself in tears. It has brought me to my knees...literally as I have thanked God repeatedly for His grace and favor. Door after door has been opened for The I.S.L.A.N.D. Movement - the motivational ministry that was birthed from I Shall Not Die - since I obeyed God's voice and wrote the book that He inspired over fifteen years ago. I've been in awe of the move of the Holy Spirit as I have traveled to bring the message of LIFE to people everywhere.
My 2011 calendar has more speaking engagements lined up on it than I've ever had in past years. From Mississippi to the nation's capital of Washington DC; from my home state of Georgia to the state of North Carolina; from Maryland to Lousiana and more. Even dates in 2012 have already been booked as I'm being contacted by organizations and ministries to come and serve as keynote speaker for their special events. Even as I type this blog entry, I'm overwhelmed.
A little known fact about me is that I've been a licensed minister since the age of 21. The pulpit (or stage for that matter) has never been my comfort zone. When I began publishing books in 2002, I saw it as a way to minister without the mic. But lo and behold, in a manner in which only He could orchestrate, the Lord has brought my life full circle, and I'm being placed in the position to exercise the ministry (in the form of empowerment speaking) that was bestowed on me by Him many years ago. Sometimes we have to come out of those comfort zones to completely fulfill our purpose. And now, though standing in front of a crowd may very well never feel like second nature to me, it has become an assignment that I have embraced with joy, and I feel blessed every time my presence is requested to share the gospel of Christ; even if it is on the level of teaching others how to write their own life's tests in a manner wherein it will testify to those who read it.
I am so very grateful for this new season and this new day in my life. Stay tuned. More will be revelealed when the time is right. In the meantime, check the calendar on my website and/or connect with me on Facebook so that you can be made aware of my whereabouts as I travel the globe speaking, facilitating, signing books, etc. If I'm ever in or around your area, please join me!

Time Does NOT Heal All Wounds

Today, October 15th, would have been the celebration of my 22nd wedding anniversary if Jimmy (my first husband) was still alive. Fifteen years have passed since he transitioned, and yes, I have moved on with my life. However, one of the many things that my experience with him taught me is that true love never dies...not even when the true lover does. I never would have thought that I'd still miss him after all these years, but I do, and that's not something that I even try to mask or hide. It's not a fact that I'm ashamed of, nor is it one that I wish to change. The pain of his absence is not a pleasant feeling. Sometimes, especially on significant days like today, it still brings tears to my eyes, but despite that, I actually enjoy missing him. That's right...I enjoy it.

I feel favored to have the memories. It brings me joy to know that his presence in my life was so positive and impactful that his not being here (physically) is still noticable. I pray that whenever the Lord decides to call me home, I would have lived in a manner to have left that kind of impression on someone's life. It would be great to leave behind tangible goods such as property, money, and other valuables, but all those things, in the grand scheme of things, are fleeting. To leave behind memories - good and godly memories - that last a lifetime... What a legacy!

Regardless of what "they" say, time does not heal all wounds. The saying sounds good to the ears, but it's not true. I know that for a fact. No doubt, it heals some wounds, but not ALL. For other wounds, all time is capable of doing is placing a scab on the surface of them so that the pain lessens, or so the wounds don't become contaminated and fester into something worse. Often times the pain may be so meager that it's barely noticeable. But it's still there.

I think that the most wonderful thing that can be done through pain, is to bless others. When a personal tragedy or mishap can be used by God as a positive tool that blesses someone else, that's awesome. Since the official release of my first nonfiction book, I Shall Not Die on October 1st, I have read email after email from readers whose lives were changed by the message of LIFE that it brings. I am so humbled to have been chosen to write and deliver the words that are ministering to people on such a level. In the past two weeks, I have read notes of marriages being healed, mindsets being changed, and outlooks that were made brighter by way of I Shall Not Die. It's what God promised to do through this book, and it is a promise that He is delivering.

The feedback and reviews that are coming in by way of the ministry website guest book and by way of Amazon.com has made me grateful that time didn't completely heal my wound. Had it done so, I may never have obeyed God's order to pen this book. And had I never written it, my lingering wound would not have had the opportunity to heal the wounds of others. For that reason alone, I gladly carry my scar, and I thank God daily that He has allowed it to be a blessing to others.

The Launch of The I.S.L.A.N.D. Movement

It's been a few weeks since I last blogged...not because nothing has been happening worth blogging about, but because so much has been happening that I've had trouble finding the time to blog. So I ask for your patience, and if necessary, your forgiveness, if this blog entry runs a little longer than normal. I have to catch you up to date...
Believe it or not, after my last entry that chronicled all of the challenges I had faced to date, even more road blocks popped up that had the potential to hinder the birth of the I Shall Not Die book and the I.S.L.A.N.D. (I Shall Live And Not Die) Movement. Once the book was finally produced and shipped to me from the printer, I encountered a battle with the company that was outsourced to bring the books to me. For hours, the driver of the delivery truck held the books hostage, actually refusing to bring them to my home, stating that he didn't like delivering to residential areas. I won't blast the company by name on my public blog, but believe me when I tell you the temptation is there. I had paid for shipping and delivery, yet the truck driver told me that if I wanted the books, I'd have to rent a pick-up truck from somewhere and meet him in a business district because he didn't like delivering to residences. Really? Are you kidding me? You're a delivery man! After several telephone conversations with the people at the delivery company's headquarters and my ultimate threat to call the printer and report the incident so that they'd never use their delivery service again, I got my books. I waited from 8:30 in the morning (the scheduled delivery time) until 6:30 in the evening to receive them, but they finally arrived. And yes...I still reported the company to my printer.
When I first broke open the box and held the book in my hand, I cried. Okay, I'll admit that I tend to shed a few tears each time I am blessed to hold a new release for the first time, but this one was different. This book is personal...and it represents a new level of ministry for me. Plus it seemed as if that moment would never come. With all the adversity I'd faced, there were days when I felt paranoid as I wondered what the enemy would come up with next. I'm so glad the God I serve is omniscient. No adversity could arise that He didn't know about beforehand. With that being the case, God knew that the delivery issue wouldn't be the end of it all.

Can you beleive that once again, we would be forced to change the location of the pending October 2nd I.S.L.A.N.D. Conference where we would officially unveil the book and the accompanying motivational ministry? We'd already had to change it once because someone who (for reasons that are still unclear) did not want the conference to manifest took it upon themselves to cancel our first venue booking and demand that the pastor not allow it to be held there. Now, due to more "church drama," we were forced to go for Plan C. And that plan had us taking the celebration out of the church altogether, and moving it to an events building instead. As God would have it, someone who had booked the building for the same time and date that we needed it, called and cancelled their booking just moments before I called to ask about the building's availability. (I told you HE was omniscient!) And with a venue secure, we were moving forward once again.
Because the books arrived several weeks prior to the official release date, two "early release" events took place. The first one was held at Auburn Avenue Research Library in Atlanta, GA, and was hosted by Bossettes. It was a wonderful event that came with live entertainment that included spoken word by EbonyJanice and song ministry by recording artist/stage actress, Alicia Robinson Cooper. The second "early release" event was a speaking engagement and book signing wherein I was blessed to be asked to be the keynote speaker at the 85th church anniversary service of East St. Paul United Methodist Church in San Antonio, TX. What an honor it was to share the "I Shall Not Die" message with the attendees there, and then to sell and sign copies of the book afterward. I took my youngest daughter along with me for that appearance. It was her very first flight and she got the opportunity to reconnect with a friend that she hadn't seen since she was a four-year-old Pre-K student. They are both now thriving 17-year-old high school seniors, and it was good to see how quickly they gelled. They even sang a duet at the worship service. Additionally, I was blessed to reunite with a sister-friend that I had not seen in more than ten years. It was marvelous! San Antonio made for a great tour stop on many levels.
Finally, the day of the official book release and ministry launch arrived. October 2nd was the date of the I.S.L.A.N.D. Conference, and it was with great excitement that I and a car load of family and friends took the 3.5 hour drive to Valdosta, GA for the celebration. En route, another curve ball blindsided me when I received a call from the booking manager of my featured artist, telling me that he would not be at the event. The immediate disappointment was heavy. I had been announcing for months that he would be there, and just a couple hours before "showtime" I was informed that he would not. Determined not to let the blow be a TKO for me, I regrouped my emotions and prayed that God wouldn't allow the absence of the national recording artist to cause those who would be there to turn around and leave. God answered my prayer, and the conference that commemorated the book and the ministry was a wonderful affair.
Those who attended the I.S.L.A.N.D. Conference were blessed with music and arts ministry that included praise dancing, singing, and a featured appearance by Agape Award winning mime minister The Master's Mime . The highlight of the night was an awesome (and I do mean, AWESOME) Word from the Lord that was delivered by Bishop Q.S. Caldwell of Celebration of Praise Ministries. The capable emcee for the evening was Pastor Bernard Robinson of Abundant Life Ministries. I can't say that our featured recording artist wasn't missed. He definitely was. He was on program to sing a couple of very key songs...plus he's one of my personal favorites, so I still wish he would have been there, but I was more than a little relieved that none of the audience members expressed any disappointment in his absence. And God provided a "ram in the bush" when one of the attendees (her name was Nicole), who I'd never even met before, agreed to fill in on a moment's notice and sing I Won't Complain, which was a poignant song for the program. And boy, did she sing it!
To top off the evening, quite a number of books and other I.S.L.A.N.D. ministry products were sold, and the wonderful reviews from readers have been pouring in via email, telephone calls, and by way of feedback posted in the guest book on the ministry website. Despite all of the ditches, mud puddles, and even dung hills that we had to leap over to get there, God made us victorious, and I am eternally grateful. He promised to be faithful, and He is and continues to be. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness!
And now the main tour begins. For the next few weekends, I can be found fellowshipping, promoting, speaking, and signing books in Jacksonville, Florida, West Haven, Connecticut, Chicago, Illinois, Lenox, Georgia, and Jackson, Mississippi. I hope to see some of you as I make stops through your area, and I request the prayers of the righteous as I continue to use this platform to empower, encourage, and edify.

You Hear That, Elizabeth???

Remember the classic comedy, Sanford and Son? Sure you do. Its original run ended in the late 70's but you don't have to think back that far or even have to have been born at that time to recall it. This show, starring the late Redd Foxx (as Fred Sanford) and Demond Wilson (as his son, Lamont), still airs in daily reruns over thirty years later.
On this sitcom that Time magazine once listed as one of the 100 best television shows of all time, Fred, a 60-something-year-old widower (whose deceased wife was named Elizabeth) would often feign heart attacks when something major, unexpected, and normally unpleasant would happen. At the onset of his attacks, Fred would place one hand on his chest, stretch the other out in front of him, and while staggering around the room gasping for air, he'd say, "This is the big one. You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm comin' to join you, honey!" Oh, how many hours of laughter my generation and many generations that followed got (and still get) from watching his antics.
Well, I had my own "You hear that, Elizabeth" moment just a few days ago. Over the course of writing my first nonfiction, I Shall Not Die, I've used this blog to keep a public journal of the journey. And what a journey it has been! In my most recent posting, I talked about how I've had to "fight" every step of the way to get this God-ordered book in print and the partnering ministry (The I.S.L.A.N.D. Movement) launched. I spoke of the latest struggle just to get the book files to the printer, and nearing the close of that posting, I said that I was expecting the enemy to come back again with something else as a means of stopping the birth of this movement. Lo and behold....it happened. It was totally unexpected, and I was completely unprepared. By my measuring stick, it was the BIG ONE!
What I was expecting was a glitch with the printer or maybe an issue with the shipping or some other problem on that same level. But no. This time, it wasn't an issue with the book at all. The printer received the files that I mailed to them, they sent me a proof to approve the cover and page set-up, and as I type this blog entry, the book is in the print stage (thank you, Jesus!). So while I was expecting another problem to come from an outside source...it came from within...from a place that is very dear to my heart. People that I love, for reasons that are still not clear to me, stepped in and pulled the plug on the worship service that had been set up to commemorate the book and ministry launch. That's right...they cancelled it. I kid you not. Family members who were helping me to plan the event had donated funds to get thousands of marketing items printed to pass out and publicize the upcoming service, and because of the enemy's newest stunt, all of those dollars were flushed down the drain. Even to this day, those who stopped the program have not spoken to me to offer an explanation for their drastic actions, but because of them, for a few days, I walked around hurt, stunned, and quite frankly, angry beyond words. Like Fred Sanford, I felt like putting my hand over my heart and staggering from the blow of it all. But when I allowed myself to calm down and I began to place it in God's hands, the Spirit spoke to me. And the words He spoke to me, I relayed to the supporter who had called to inform me of the cancellation. "This won't stop it," I told him. "God has ordered this, and if He said it, He's got to bring it to pass."
So we joined in faith and believed God to provide a ram in the bush. We rolled up our sleeves and got to work (because faith without works is dead). For the past several days, I, along with people who are in my support system, have been working tirelessly to find a new location for the worship experience. Door after door was closed in our faces. Either the contact people were not returning our calls, or the facilities were unavailable on the date we needed to use it. Finally, as I was conversing with a friend and we were brainstorming other options, I mentioned a former acquaintance in the area that used to fellowship with our church when we were both teenagers. As an adult he became a preacher and ultimately, a pastor. I asked about his church and the friend that I was speaking to informed me that he no longer lived in the area. For a moment, I felt a twinge of discouragement. And then she mentioned the name of the person who now pastored that same church. As God would orchestrate it, I knew him as well. I hadn't seen or spoken to him in years, but I used social media to send him an email, and he responded with these words: "I'd be honored to host this service at our church." Thank God for Facebook! :-)
And so, we press on. We are having to get more promo material printed, but God is still good. We didn't have to cancel or even reschedule the date of the event. The I.S.L.A.N.D. Conference is still set for October 2nd, and while I am fully aware that there is still time for more adversity to arise, I feel that the worst of it is over. And even if other things do come my way, the fact that God got me through the big one, assures me that He'll get me through anything else. He's on my side, and I'm on His, and nothing can stop us now. You hear that, Elizabeth? NOTHING!

It Was A Set-Up!!

That's right...it was a set up, and boy, did He set me up good! I'm not talking about a friend or a relative, I'm talking about God. And believe me when I tell you that there is no better "setter upper" than He! Every time I think that I have fulfilled His order as it relates to I Shall Not Die, He points out an unfinished area of the puzzle, and then points me in the right direction to help me create the piece that will fill the slot. There's a popular saying that states: "The will of God won't take you where the grace of God won't protect you." I have found that to be very true throughout my life and certainly throughout the process of birthing I Shall Not Die. What started out as what I thought would only be a book has evolved into more. Much, much more.
I've shared the story behind the I Shall Not Die book throughout this blog. Faithful followers of this online journal are aware that when I embarked upon the mission of writing this book, that task alone was intimidating. I had my moments of doubts and disobedience. Getting beyond the fear to reach the point of taking God at His word and trusting Him to not only walk with me, but lead and guide me through the process was fourteen years in the making. But even as I moved beyond the lurking shadows of fear into the lighted path that faith provided, I had no idea of where this walkway would lead. I thought I knew, but I have come to the realization that I hadn't the slightest notion. And in the process, I also now realize that this is just the way God planned it. He set me up!
God knew that if He allowed me to see the entire view from the onset, I would have frozen in place. It's quite possible that the writing of the book would still be on the back-burner if I'd known then what I know now. So instead of giving me a panoramic view of what He had planned, God showed it to me in snapshots that He knew I'd be able to handle. That allowed me to complete the I Shall Not Die manuscript in five months after fourteen years of procrastination. When God revealed that the I Shall Not Die book was actually a puzzle piece of a larger platform that was to be the I Shall Not Die Motivational Ministry, I was somewhat taken aback, but it wasn't an assignment that paralyzed me. However, when another puzzle piece turned the ministry into a movement that God inspired me to title The I.S.L.A.N.D. (I Shall Live And Not Die) Conference, I was like...WHOA!! It took me totally by surprise, and the reveal of it all momentarily overwhelmed me, but there was no turning back, and God gave me the reassurance that if He assigned it to me, He would equip me with the wherewithal to carry it out. And I wouldn't have to do it alone because he promised to put people in place who would recognize it as a vision that He'd given and be willing to assist in making it a reality. And so He did. Every phone call I made...every email I sent out requesting the involvement of others were answered with an unquestionable "Yes."
God is so faithful. His mandate (the book) broadened into a ministry (the motivational ministry) and then into a movement (the conference)....and it all happened before the book was even sent to the printer for production. He...set...me...up!! But what a blessing and an honor to be used of God to bring about a change in someone's life, someone's heart, someone's soul! The official launch of the ministry in it's entirety (including the book) is scheduled for Saturday, October 2, 2010. Join me in Valdosta, Georgia for The inaugual presentation of The I.S.L.A.N.D. Conference where our keynote speaker will be Bishop Q.S. Caldwell, Chief Apostle of Celebration of Praise Ministries, and our featured music guests will be Stellar Award recognized, national recording artists, Lowell Pye (of Men of Standard) and Marcus Cole (formally of Commissioned). The evening of glorious celebration and radical worship will be hosted by Pastor Bernard Robinson, the voice behind the mic of the Bernard Robinson Morning Show on WJEM-1150 AM gospel radio station in Valdosta. Admission is FREE and the public is urged to attend.
I am trusting God to do mighty things through the movement as a whole. That is my most earnest prayer. The book, the ministry, and the conference - I want it all to be to man's edification and to God's glorification. I speak it in faith and in Jesus' name that it is already done. To God be the glory!
To obtain more information about the mandate, the ministry, and the movement, visit the official website by clicking HERE. The book that started it all will officially release on October 1, 2010. Orders can be placed now through the ministry website. Shipping is free for advance orders, and the books that are ordered in advance will be shipped in the month of September.

"I Shall Not Die" is at the halfway point....

In the month of December, I had two major editing projects to cross my desk with tight deadlines that forced me to set the writing of I Shall Not Die aside momentarily. It was difficult to put it on pause, but basically, I didn't have a choice. I'd been retained by two clients and was obligated to get their manuscript editing complete. I finished the last of them two days ago, and now it's back to the grind. I'm on a mission, and it feels good to know that progress is being made, and I'm halfway to the finished line.
My past blogging has outlined the challenges of getting my first nonfiction/ministerial book written. I try to adequately express the uniqueness of this undertaking in my blog entries, but believe me when I tell you that you don't know the half of it. I've been writing on and editing other people's projects all month long, and not once during those processes did the uncanny fatigue overtake me. Even as I worked well into the night and sometimes up to 3:00 in the mornings - there wasn't a struggle between alertness and sleepiness. There was even one day that I never went to bed at all. I literally worked from sun up to sun down....to sun up again. The deadine I'd been given was the following day, and I would not have met it had I taken the time to sleep. So I didn't get to bed until 7:00 the next morning. Yet, eventhough my body began to tire as the hours ticked away, there was never a time when sleepiness engulfed me.

Yet in the last two days of me returing my full attention to the I Shall Not Die project, the tug-o-war has set up shop in my body again. Even as I type out this blog posting, I'm continuously yawning and struggling to stay awake. Whenever I work toward writing anything associated with this project, lethargy becomes my greatest enemy. Lord, what is really going on? I know that somewhere along the way, He is going to answer this inquest and reveal, without question, the fullness of the meaning of this perplexing experience.

In the meantime, while I await the divine revelation, I will continue to write at the pace my body allows. I'll write awhile, and then sleep awhile....whatever it takes. But make no mistake about it, I shall not allow this project to die. It will be completed, and it will accomplish all that God has designed for it to accomplish.....

Mind, Body, Spirit...Don't Let Them Die!

On Saturday, November 7th, I had the sincere pleasure of sharing the message of the I Shall Not Die ministry with a group of simply marvelous young women. The Theta Tau Chapter of the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated invited me to be the keynote speaker at their 2nd Annual Total Woman Tea gathering which took place inside the University Center of Valdosta State University (Valdosta, Georgia). Approximately 150 women and teen girls (who are involved in a high school mentoring program called the Delta GEMS) were there to take part in this absolutely wonderful fellowship that somewhat reminded me of my childhood days of sharing imaginary hot tea, finger sandwiches, and intense sista-girl talk with my dolls and teddy bears. Saturday's Total Woman Tea, of course, was a lot more interesting, inspirational, and interactive.
I didn't quite know what to expect of this appointment. I have served as the keynote speaker for sorority functions before, but in the past, they have all been grad chapters. Theta Tau is Valdosta State University's undergrad chapter of DST, Inc. And in the past, all of my spotlight addresses have been more so geared toward business topics such as following dreams, turning a passion into a profession, succeeding despite the odds, etc. But as I was meditating and asking God to direct me on what to speak of to the women of Theta Tau, I could not shake away the message of "I Shall Not Die" that He planted in my spirit.
This appointment had been arranged between chapter president, Mahja Zeon, and my publicist, Terrance Wooten. I'd not exchanged conversations or emails with Mahja, but upon meeting her, I found her to be as beautiful (both inside and out) as her unique name. We almost stood eye-to-eye which made me feel an instant kinship to her. You see, it's not every woman who is blessed with our tailor made statue (smile). The theme of the tea was The Total Woman: Mind, Body, & Spirit. Because of a case of innocent miscommunication between my publicist and me, Terrance had told Mahja that the subject of my keynote address would match their event theme, and at first, I wondered if it would force me to change the direction in which I'd been led to go. But as God would have it, the "I Shall Not Die" message blended perfectly with the theme that the sorority had chosen, and I was able to expound on the theme while staying true to what God had given me to share. It is awe-inspiring how God pulls things together so that His will is done and the needs of His people are met.
Being that I am not a Delta, nor am I a member of any of the "Divine Nine" sisterhoods (my Greek affiliation is on the professional level with Iota Phi Lambda) I felt particularly blessed to have been asked to come in and give the keynote address. Since I fully accepted this new motivational ministry that God had been molding me for and pushing me toward for the past fourteen years, He has been faithful to His promise to open unseen doors so that the message can be shared to the masses. It was a beautiful, empowering experience, and most of all, from the feedback that I received during the book signing that followed and through the emails and Facebook feedback that I've received in the hours since the tea ended, the women were blessed. One young lady came up to me during the book signing that followed and shared with me that her aunt had recently been faced with a experience much like mine...the one that ultimately led to the birth of the I Shall Not Die ministry. This sister seemed near tears when she thanked me for sharing, and then went on to say that because of my candidness and the message that was shared, she felt empowered and informed enough to go back and tell her aunt that she didn't have to give up, and she didn't have to let the situation kill her. "I can tell her to say, 'I shall not die,'" the young lady said. By that time, I was near tears too. In the end, that's what this ministry is all about.
I thank God for this appointment...and I look forward to the next opportunity that He presents for me to share this message of strength, faith, and hope.

The "I Shall Not Die" Experience

Bizarre is a good word to describe this birthing process. From the moment I began writing I Shall Not Die, I have experienced a physical fatigue unlike any other. I mentioned it in my initial blog posting...how every time I sit at my computer to embark on the mission of adding to the manuscript, I become so sleepy that I can barely keep my eyes open. It's not the kind of drowsiness that can be fought (at least not fought and won). When the feeling comes upon me, it literally overwhelms me, and I have no choice but to stop typing and climb into my bed. My plan is always to catch a short nap, and then continue, but whenever I fall asleep, I enter a stage of near-comatose. Most times I sleep for four hours or more, and when I awaken, I'm still groggy. Those hours of sound sleep seem to only provide me with enough energy to drag back to my computer to type for maybe another hour or so, but then I'll have to shut it down and go back to bed again.
What is really going on? Until now, I'd given all the credit to the enemy (aka the devil) and I've accused him of trying to prevent me from getting this project done by making me sleep away the time that I could have been spending on writing this book that God has commanded that I write. But just yesterday, a total stranger spoke into my spirit, and now I must take a step back and consider that perhaps this is not the work of the enemy after all.

Yesterday (Saturday, October 17th), I had a consultation with a client by the name of Sonya, who is a new writer and was looking for direction on everything from whether a publicist was necessary for where she wanted to take her career to how to gain exposure for her product so that it could land in the hands of those who would most benefit from the message that she is trying to share. What I thought was going to perhaps be a 2-hour session turned into a five-hour fellowship. By the time we parted ways, Sonya had thanked me several times for the wealth of information that I'd shared, but I felt as though she had imparted some wisdom to me as well. Spiritual wisdom. So much so, that I only charged her for three of the hours that we spent together.

During our meeting, which was held at the Borders Bookstore in the Mall at Stonecrest (aka Stonecrest Mall) in Lithonia, GA, she posed a question to me that sparked the discussion of I Shall Not Die. Sonya's questions was: "Have you ever run from a ministry that God was trying to give you?" What a timely question! I initially laughed when she asked and then I explained to her why I was laughing. I told her the story of God's call for me to launch the "I Shall Not Die" Motivational Ministry as well as the written project and how I'd run from it for fourteen years. In the midst of my telling her about the book that I'd begun writing, I shared this bizarre experience of becoming overcome by sleep in the middle of my writing sessions and my thoughts of how it was all a ploy of Satan to hinder the birthing of this work. In all of the books that I've written in the past, it has never happened, so what else could it be?

Sonya turned to me and asked me to consider something else. She asked that I consider the possibility that my sleepiness was due to the fact that the writing of this particular project was causing me to extract a part of myself onto the paper as I typed. Writing this book - a folio that requires that I open up myself and pour out a large portion of who I am - could actually be draining me physically. It's comparable to giving blood. When a person donates blood, it is not recommended that they get up right away once the process is complete. If they do, there is the risk of fainting because a part of them that gives life has been taken away and needs time to replenish. WOW! I'd never thought of it that way. But true enough, writing I Shall Not Die is requiring that kind of commitment from me, so it is a very real possibility that this peculiar and extraordinary lethargy is a result of the total depletion that my body is going through at each writing session.

I'm not sure what the real reason is, but all that I know for sure is that I have to press forward despite whatever is causing it. Because of it, I can only write for a limited amount of time daily, so this won't be a book that will be completed in sprint-like fashion. It's definitely going to be a journey. Therefore, I have decided to roll with it. I'm wearing my comfortable clothes and packing my favorite CDs in preparation for the roadtrip ahead. No matter how bumpy, winding, or mountainous; I plan to enjoy the ride.

I Shall Not Die

It is just after 1:30 in the morning as I am beginning the first installment of the I Shall Not Die Blog. This particular online journal is being created primarily to keep me on task with this charge that God has given me to write my first nonfiction ministerial tool, I Shall Not Die. All I can say is that this is turning into a much bigger assignment than I first thought it would be, and any time that we move forward to fulfill the work of God, we can also expect the enemy to do his part to try and produce stumbling blocks along the way. And need I say that he has already begun trying to trip me up.

I wrote my first public thoughts about I Shall Not Die, the pending book, in my Blessed2Write Blog just over a week ago on October 5th, and I won't tell the whole story of this vision and God-ordained charge all over again. But there has been so much spiritual (as in evil spirit) adversity that has come my way already, that I felt compelled to create this blog to keep a record of all of the noteworthy things that may happen en route to fulfilling this assignment.

The full acknowledgement and acceptance of God's will for I Shall Not Die (the book) came shortly before this year's launching of Cruisin' For Christ. I knew long before that that God was ordering me to write the book, but I'd fought it for years. However, at some point in the month of August, I gave up the fight and told the Lord that as soon as I cleared my plate of some of the my current writing and editing deadlines, I would begin this project. Cruisin' For Christ III took place Sept. 5-12, and it was phenomenal! God truly blessed our week long at-sea fellowship, but immediately upon returning home, I learned that while I was away, there had been some suspicious activity on my business account, and as a result, the bank had frozen my account, hindering me from paying any of my outstanding obligations - both personal and business related. I was angry and I was hurt, but I was also determined not to let it throw me so far off course that I failed to honor my vow to the Lord.

Once I got caught up on my literary obligations, I made it a priority to move full steam ahead on I Shall Not Die. On October 5th, the date of my Blessed2Write blog entry, I began writing the book. Meanwhile, I made contact with the company who always designs the covers for the books published through KNB Publications LLC and requested that a cover be immediately designed for this new project so that I could begin promoting it at an event which was scheduled for October 10th. For the first time ever, the graphic designer was too busy to get to my project right away. Orders had her backed up so far that it would be a month before she could begin to work on the cover for I Shall Not Die. In all the years that I've worked with her, she has never needed more than two or three days to get cover samples to me. Coincidence? Maybe. But in my spirit, I felt that a strategically placed stumbling block had been laid in hopes of keeping me from having the cover ready in time. But I wouldn't accept defeat.

After taking a moment to gather my thoughts, God reminded me that He always has a ram in the bush (or in layman's terms, another option). One of my best girlfriends is married to a graphic artist, and althought I'd never had him to design a cover for me before, I sent him an email to see if he would take on the challenge of not only putting together a cover, but getting it done within a few short days. AJ3 Photography accepted my request without a pause, and two days later (half the time that I'd given him) he had sent me about ten cover samples to choose from. The first one I opened (see photo) nailed my unspoken vision with so much perfection that I wept. Because of the nature of this book, it is dearer to my heart than any of my previous writings, and to see how God worked through the graphic artist's hands (without me even giving him the details of what I was envisioning) was overwhelming. But the enemy wasn't finished harrassing me.

Those who know me well, know that I work long and late hours. I generally rise at 9:00 in the morning, and I don't go to bed until 2:30 or 3:00 the next morning. I'm full of energy and well-rested as long as I can get six hours or more of sleep per night. But since I said "Yes" to the Lord and set my sights on getting this particular book written, I can barely keep my eyes open throughout any given day. If there is such a thing as a "sleeping demon" it seems to have found its way to me. Each time I sit down to begin writing on I Shall Not Die, my eyelids become too heavy to fight the sleep, and if I lie down to catch a thirty-minute powernap, it easily turns into three hours of sound sleep. And even then, when I wake up, I'm still tired and groggy. This has been an every day occurence since I began writing the book. Whatever the reasons for all of these bizzare happenings, I am still determined to keep on keeping on. I won't give up. I won't be defeated. I won't be distracted. And I Shall Not Die!

The Women's conference last weekend (the event that I needed the cover image for) turned out wonderfully. Not only did God meet us there at the Clarion Airport Conference Center in Jacksonville, Florida, but he also inspired me to launch a full fledge "I Shall Not Die" ministry that expands beyond the pending book. And today, I sat down at the computer and followed His direction to build an "I Shall Not Die" Website that is specific to this newly birthed ministry. Please click on the link, visit the site, and consider becoming an ISND Vision Partner.

Admittedly, I have no idea where all of this is going to ultimately lead, but I know that as long as I listen to His voice and adhere to His divine instructions, it will be blessed. And I am excited to see how the hands of God will move next.

Stay tuned...